All Mod Cons

The Grand Theft Auto series, the Getaway set and, now, Narc are famously controversial home video games in which players spend their lives embedded in the underground economy. It seems only apropos that the sale of video games would edge closer and closer, then, to that same underground economy.

Recently, busy legislators in Illinois moronically banned the sale of violent and cleavage-filled video games to people under the age of 18. (What the hell was that "MA" label for -- and, in that vein, what the fuck is a parent's role -- any way?)

Not content to be a step behind Illinois in the outlawing-harmless-things department, a Welsh court has convicted a man for "selling modded Xboxes fitted with larger hard drives and pre-installed games" for a hell of a lot less money that buyers would have spent at the mall, according to the questionably named GamesIndustry.biz. Wow -- sounds great, right? More bang for less buck. What could be the problem?

The problem is he's run afoul of and is being fined under the EU's piracy laws -- essentially for building a better mousetrap. I had no idea how important the case was until alerted to the scourge of product improvement and lower prices by one Michael Rawlinson, who heads ELSPA, the UK's undoubtedly exclusionary and anti-competitive computer and video-games industry trade guild:

"This case sets a major precedent which marks a milestone in the fight against piracy," said Michael Rawlinson, ELSPAs deputy director general. "It sends a clear message to anyone tempted to become involved in chipping consoles that this is a criminal offence and will be dealt with accordingly."

"The modification of consoles is an activity that ELSPA's anti-piracy team is prioritising. It is encouraging to see the UK courts do the same."

Why is this illegal when selling a computer -- which an Xbox essentially is -- with gobs of software loaded on it is de rigueur? I've got no answer. Though he got off with a small fine and community service, I shudder to think what might have happened to un-named entrepreneur had he actually done something like improve upon the Xbox's shitty joystick. Or gameplay. He could have received death.

Naturally, neither the idiotic Illinois nor Welsh measures will have any effect on who plays video games, or how, or which ones. Xbox and other game manufacturers are already facing a "significant backlash from consumers" for their lack of openness to innovation and proprietary foot-dragging. All these cross-pond actions will do is push the sale of these and other games into the tax-free economy, while introducing young buyers to a whole host of new black-market sellers who have perfected their trade plying, undoubtedly, the same substances many of these kids have only to this point seen in Vice City, the Getaway and Narc.