If Veterans Are Offended by “Wedding Crashers”, Wait Until They Read This Post

According to MSNBC.com, veterans have their panties in a bunch over the movie “Wedding Crashers” because two of the characters wear purple hearts to sleep with chicks at weddings. You used to be able to download your own fake purple heart at weddingcrashersmovie.com, before New Line Cinema caved to political correctness, the FBI,

"I challenge the producer of that movie to go to Walter Reed Hospital and walk through the ward and see if he still wants to print out a fake Purple Heart,” said Thomas Cottone, Jr., a special agent with the FBI who enforces a federal law that prohibits wearing, manufacturing, buying, selling or trading a Medal of Honor. “Talk to some of these people who don’t have legs anymore and see how funny they think that movie is".

and Congress.

“If any movie goers take the advice of the “Wedding Crashers” and try to use fake Purple Hearts to get girls, they may wind up picking up an FBI agent instead,” warns [Congressman] Salazar. “I am pleased that New Line Cinema has agreed to take down offensive parts of the website. Our veterans and FBI agents are working hard to make sure that we honor our true heroes, no one should undermine their efforts."

Jesus fucking Christ. Get a sense of humor people. I watched the movie this weekend. It’s hilarious! How did we reach such a point that joking about using a medal of honor to get laid is offensive? And veterans with no legs at Walter Reed??? God damn, I certainly hope those people are using their purple hearts to get laid. They should be.

And what about two-legged John Kerry? The fact that he even received a purple heart is more offensive than a 10-second (literally) joke in a Hollywood movie. This, of course, gets to the heart (sorry) of the matter. Purple hearts aren’t that special anyway. Yeah, yeah, you got shot. You know why? Because you were in another country trying to kill their people. Did you think they wouldn’t shoot back?

For all the ladies out there, I guess I should tell you that I have a purple heart before Congress makes it illegal to falsely claim I have one. I also love you. And no you don't look fat in those pants.