Terror Sweeping UK

But it's not what you think. It's "Crazy Frog," a ring tone inexplicably meming its way through the mobile phones of the U.K. Here's how the Scotsman's Stewart Kirkpatrick described "Crazy Frog" shortly before climbing under a rock for a three-week mobile-free holiday:

If you don't know what this is, stop what you're doing, go to the nearest house of worship and fall to your knees to thank God for preserving you from the black plague de nos jours.

He's right. But it's a car crash. So rubberneck on over to Jamster! to sample the tones -- most of them mashed with the equally Euro-ring-tone-ubiquitous Harold Faltermeyer (no, not Jan Hammer) Axel F theme from Beverly Hills Cop.

After you've at once become significantly horrified by the shuddersome frog tones and grateful that the mobile rings you hear on this side of the frog pond involve some synth-Beethoven, or the T-Mobile theme, or frankly anything that's not that fucking frog, join the more than 2 million others who have taken out their agression on said amphibian in a game of Crazy Frog Baseball. (Shortcut for sadists: you can vertically pound the frog's skull ad infinitum, but you may first -- as I did -- need to take a mighty wind-up and beat his motherfucking head off with one fell swoop.)