We Need Nad-Punching Reform

The always entertaining Patrick Hruby of ESPN.com has listed what he calls "the dumbest rules in sports." From the unenforced prohibition on palming in the NBA ("the next time Allen Iverson pulls off his renowned crossover dribble without flipping the ball like an omelet will be the first") to soccer's insistence on not letting fans know how much time is left in the goddamned game ("Futbol's supposed greatness already qualifies as a secret to most Americans"), Hruby's list is funny and mostly on target. My favorite:

No Hitting Below the Belt in Boxing

If this is a sport built on defining manhood, what better way to test someone's manhood than by seeing how well he can take a closed fist to the epididymis? Look, the object in boxing is to see who can beat someone's butt the best, right? All's fair, right? Manhood, right? Intestinal fortitude, testicular fortitude … same thing.

Though Hruby doesn't call for it, I think what's needed is nothing less than congressional action, in the form of the "Andrew Golota Epididymis Reform Act of 2005." Hopefully someone out there with too much free time and way too much self-given oversight authority is reading this.