David Beckham is Omnipresent (in My Mailbox)

Most Americans probably don't recognize David Beckham, even though he is arguably the most popular athlete on the planet still playing. The short answer is that he's the 31-year old captain of the English football (read: soccer) team who plays professionally for a Spanish squad called Real Madrid. He is also married to a gal named Victoria, who used to play the role of "Posh" in a little entertainment act called The Spice Girls. Since his engagement to Victoria, who has just admitted that she has never read a book in her life, I have glibly called the man many refer to as "Becks" as "(Mr.) Soccer Spice."

Victoria's admission is rather odd, given the presence of her hubby's two autobiographies and the one that she penned herself. Also, in a bold (and pretty successful) public relations maneuver, the couple allowed their wedding to be photographed and sold in a hardbound volume. One would think that the Beckham library includes these four books, at the very least.

What's all the fuss over Mr. Soccer Spice stateside recently? Why has he heated up my mailbox on two separate occasions this past month: on both a bona fide sports magazine (pictured here), and a the uber-metrosexual/not-so-slyly gay lifestyle magazine Details? None of the feature articles carry anything resembling the "depth" of his own rather insipid books. I guess his "people" figure that the United States is the final frontier in his global superstardom.

My prediction: he will be more known in this country as a corporate spokesman/model who is stars in a sport that no one really cares about. The fact that we still have a professional soccer league up and running here in the U.S.A. is remarkable in itself. Sure, Landon Donovan is a good blend of talent and being telegenic -- but soccer is still an incredibly boring sport to watch. If anything, the U.S. should have a professional rugby league.

During the Summer of 1998, I witnessed the British obsession with their version of football firsthand. I was surprised that people actually cared about the World Cup for starters. And I was doubly surprised at the national ire focused on Soccer Spice when he was "red-carded" (ejected) in a match against Argentina. If I recall correctly, one newspaper had a picture of a weary, forlorn looking Beckham exiting an airplane with a large headline reading "England's Shame." I know that I have the front section of the (London) Times somewhere on that not-so-fateful day, but that probably wasn't it.

Sadly, Soccer Spice has replaced Survivor's Colby Donaldson as the face of Gillette. Colby is my favorite Survivor contestant of all time. How can you not be when you read this? He is more than qualified to serve as the son of a British Prime Minister who just happens to be interning for House Rules Committee Chairman David Dreier.