You Ain't Got No Alibi

Some people (NSFW) are born beautiful and stay that way forever. Others aren't, but they learn to live with it. Still others think they're beautiful, but we all know better.

And then there are those who secretly admit they're ugly and spend thousands on plastic surgery to correct the problem. That's fine. But a small lying subset of the latter group has a habit of pretending never to have gone under the knife. Add to this group Katherine Harris, with a twist. Here's Harris in a 2000 CNN video capture.
Here's Harris -- so obviously enhanced by surgery -- cynically posing next Fox News host Alan Colmes.


This is the same Alan Colmes who is so ugly that if you put him next to a beet-red, puking Keanu Reeves, the latter would seem downright fetching.

So what could Harris possibly have to complain about? Well, she insists that the media is at fault for her old look, claiming they doctored photos of her.

"I'm actually very sensitive about those things, and it's personally painful," Harris told Colmes's buddy Sean Hannity. "But they're outrageously false. ... Whenever they made fun of my makeup, it was because the newspapers colorized my photograph."

Sure thing, Katherine, you lying, reverse-Yushchenko-pulling, still-ugly sack of shit.