I Heart Barry Bonds

Barry Bonds, in Washington to play against our fading Nationals, used his proximity as an opportunity to urge Congress to pay attention to things that actually matter (i.e., not his urine). Now, I normally care for what an athlete has to say about Congress about as much as I do the converse, but this was pretty cool:

"I think we have other issues in this country to worry about that are a lot more serious. I think you guys should direct your efforts into taking care of that," the San Francisco Giants slugger said Tuesday before facing the Washington Nationals. "Talk about the athletes that are helping Katrina. Ask yourselves how much money y'all personally donated and have helped."

Asked whether Congress was wasting time by looking into steroid use in sports, Bonds responded: "Pretty much, I think so. Yeah."

[...]

"You know what? There are still other issues that are more important," Bonds said. "Right now, people are losing lives, don't have homes, I think that's a little more serious. A lot more serious."

Naturally, the office of Rep. Tom Davis (Statist-Va.), who is obsessed with players' urine, wasn't pleased with Bonds. "Members of Congress, particularly Tom Davis, can walk and chew gum at the same time," said Dave Marin, a spokesman for Davis, repeating Davis's earlier exaggeration of his abilities.

Bonds also stuck up for Baltimore Orioles' 1B Rafael Palmeiro, whose urine Davis is at this very moment contemplating like the mad pseudo-scientist fetishist he is.

"Raffy Palmeiro and I are good friends and we will stay continually good friends. Period. And I will always have respect for him as a person and a player, regardless," Bonds said.

Then Bonds went out and hit his 706th home run. Way to go.

[Cross-posted at The Agitator.]