My Bad

About a year ago I was riding a New York subway train when a drunk passenger vomited on four people. He looked at them and said, "my bad". That was all he said, "my bad". This put everyone on the train in a tight spot, especially those he vomited on. Yes, it's disgusting and rude to throw up on people. But, he did say "my bad". We're supposed to forgive people who say "my bad". It's part of the social contract. But, jesus fucking christ do we really have to forgive someone who just vomited on people? No one knew for sure. I think that's why no one did anything about it. The unlucky four just wiped themselves off, saying - and doing - nothing to the guy who had just vomited on them. He got off the train four or five stops later. People were glad to see him go, but no one hated him. How could you hate him? He did after all say "my bad".

President Bush - whose father basically said "my bad" after vomiting on the Japanese prime minister - made an even bigger faux pas. He invaded another country to prevent the use of weapons of mass destruction against the United States only to find out that the country didn't actually have weapons of mass destruction. To make matters worse, he never even bothered to say "my bad". What a prick.

But, the United States didn't invade Iraq simply because of bad intelligence. It invaded Iraq because, like Miss Cleo, Bush thinks he can see into the future. He knows which countries are going to attack us before leaders of those countries even know they're going to attack us. This belief, coupled with a complete disregard for human life, lies behind the Bush Administration's "preemption" policy. Why wait for a country to attack your country ten years from now, when you can attack them right now? (I'm sure Syrians, Iranians, and North Koreans are asking themselves the same thing.) Bill Clinton may or may not have been our first black president, but George Bush is clearly our first gangster president. He didn't even give Hussein a chance to fuck with him, he took him out first. And then took his oil and the rest of his loot as a warning to others. That is straight-up gangster. No doubt about it, Bush is a bad motherfucker.

So, what would you do if you invaded another country and killed tens of thousands of its citizens only to find out that the country was never a threat? If you're a decent human being you would start by saying "my bad". If you're George Bush, you adopt a policy allowing yourself to nuke entire cities when you think there might be a few people in them plotting to use nuclear, biological or chemical weapons against the United States. Yes, he's just that evil.

"Dude, sorry for nuking your city and killing a million people. My bad."