Can There Ever Be Too Much Celebrity?!?

Oh, how I would love to stop following the hurly burly of American politics. Keeping track of the evisceration constitutional liberties in this golden age of big government conservatism is all but a full-time endeavor.

I've actually made a conscious decision to start focusing more on things that "ordinary people" really care about. Like celebrity.

Good libertarians should rejoice in America's celebrity obsession, as it is almost entirely predicated upon commercial behavior that relies upon an individual's desire to consume according to one's personal tastes (and the innate desire to be flippant). Though cultural scolds (like my "favorite," Michael Medved) will deplore the degradation of social mores and the like, Hollywood celebrity is far less corrosive than political cults of personality -- which America has in not-so-healthy supply anyway.

America is on the brink of returning to an era where celebrity magazines were legion. And yesteryear's TV didn't have shows like Access Hollywood, Extra!, and an entire network devoted to "the stars."

Unfortunately, today's celeb "journalism" appears to have none of the thirst for innuendo that was the principal currency of magazines like Confidential, Whisper, and Lowdown. What is put out in the stream of commerce now is all glib glitter and no dirt -- a publicist's dream. Don't celeb journalists know that First Amendment law allows the tearing down of public figures with almost no liability?

A minor and wholly underreported publishing milestone was reached earlier this year when OK! magazine deubuted in America. Along with Hello!, it is at the top of UK celeb magazine hierarchy. The only real difference between the UK and the American version, beyond the celebrities themselves, is the absence of lengthy profiles akin to that found in Life magazine of the mid-20th Century.

Now, celebrity-obsessed individuals can get their hands on the purportedly private wedding pictures of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Given the quality of the photos, one must only assume that they were taken by an amateur! (I refuse to incriminate myself by disclosing whether I in fact purchased the magazine.)

"Private" wedding pictures may seem like a bold publicity move. But America's celebrity machine still has a long way to go -- up or down, depending upon one's perspective -- before it reaches the point where wedding pictures make for a modestly amusing and entirely indulgent coffee table book.

I think it more likely that a DVD of a celeb wedding will soon appear than a book. Which celeb will be the first to take the plunge? This TtP inquiring mind wants to know! Going one step further, can't an entire wedding be one mega-media, corporate event? Just think of all the cross-promotional synergies that can be tapped with a celebrity wedding -- no conspicuous consumption shall be either spontaneous or unreported!

After weddings, you know what's coming next. That's right, childbirth DVDs! Perhaps the placenta can be divvied up and auctioned off along with assorted maternal accouterments to benefit some charity -- or pay for the child's future psychotherapy.

On second thought, a return to politics may restore my sanity. Or at the very least break my tendency to overuse exclamation points!