To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Redskins Diary

I was fortunate to go to the Redskins v. Cowboys game last night thanks to frequent commenter Leonardo, who has some badass season tickets. My top 10 observations from the game:

10. With 1:59 left in the first quarter I said, "Bledsoe's shot. This game is over." Nothing that happened after that disproved my comment. Having watched Bledsoe's feathers get ruffled every third pass when he was with my Pats, I just knew. I actually could have said it after the first Cowboys play from scrimmage, when Bledsoe tossed an intercepted pass in the general direction of a Redskins defender. And then there were those 7 sacks and countless hurries and his inability to keep the team steady and prevent them from getting about 5 key false starts. Yeah, that stuff.

9. The mens' room bathroom lines were horrifyingly long. 7-8 dudes deep. I now know what it feels like to be a chick who has to take a leak... ahem, "pee". And it's not good.

8. The tailgate. In addition to railing against the Giants' extra home game (so granted by the league when the New Orleans Saints found themselves playing a "home" game at Giants Stadium in the New Jersey marshland in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina), Leonardo is fond of pointing out how much fun the pre-game tailgate is and, consequently, how in danger it is of being banned by the state. Think about it: trashcans burning flotsam; grilled animal parts; rivers of beer; joints passed around; Humvees everywhere; mad-for-it fans -- at least one (a girl who was undoubtedly the toughest person we saw all evening; and that goes for the NFL players on the field, too) sporting Cowboys' contact lenses with the team logo embedded in them. This is fucking America at its freest.

7. The binocular view of Bill Parcells any time after the first Redskins touchdown. If anyone got within ten feet of him once after the first quarter I didn't see it.

6. Me inexplicably referring to Leonardo's blanket as a "blankie" and then trying to explain it away by going into some long explanation about how I really love Peanuts and Linus and... Hey, did you know Linus's little brother is Rerun and he's my favorite Peanuts character? Yeah, it didn't work. Let's just forget about it.

5. Me realizing that I'd be winning my $25 bet with Leonardo. Before the season began I said Mike "Ron Mexico" Vick would make the NFC Pro Bowl squad. He's sucked this year, but since McNabb went down (and even before he went down with a "sports" hernia) everyone else in the NFC besides Hasselbeck is pretty nondescript. [Update: I now await my $25.]

4. Standing in line for beer and jumping up and down with three other random fans when we learned the Colts had lost. (They'd bet against the Colts.)

3. The drunk season-ticket holder sitting behind us who must have said the word "bourbon" at least 15 times and had at least one Jack neat for each time he said it.

2. Postgame festivities at the Chevy Chase Lounge on upper Connecticut in DC, also known as "that bar next to the really good Greek restaurant that's always pretty packed and has a shockingly good scene except when Charles Krauthammer is eating there."

1. The crab pretzel. The godly crab pretzel. Pretzel covered in microwaved cheese and (you've no doubt guessed the other key ingredient by now) crab. Get one. Just don't eat more than half. And make sure to snap a photo.