Top Places to Score Coke in NYC

Minerva friend Shay (a badass goddess) sends along a Zagat-styled Cocaine Corner post on the "Best Places to Get Blow in NYC". While the pseudo-Zagat thing has been done before (notably by Zagat, of course, but also by The Onion), and the writer is more geographically and gramatically challenged than, say, me, it's still funny to read shit like this:

Jennifer Saperstein's parent's apartment, Park Ave. btwn 74th and 75th Streets: This " JAC" (jewish american cokewhore), who "doubles as a high school student at Dalton" first arrived on the coke-scene after an incident at her old boarding school involving "a custodian and a shetland pony." After "getting kicked out" of the prep school, her parents "dragged her back to the city," where she quickly "got in with a gang of drug dealing Dominican pimps" by "sucking dick for rock."

Whole thing here.