God Bless Ovaries

Sure I hate ovaries because they lead to babies which I hate more than ovaries. Two new studies, however, suggest that ovaries actually have a useful purpose. They compel ovulating women to cheat on their partners.

"We found that women were most attracted to men other than their primary partner when they were in the high fertility phase of the menstrual cycle," said Dr. Martie Haselton, a UCLA researcher. "That's the day of ovulation and several days beforehand."

Since I put the cycles of every woman I know into my Outlook, this should make for easy picking. I'll just call married and taken women when they're having their period and ask them out for a drink. If they turn down my advances, I'll say "what do you mean you can't sleep with me because you're taken, come on, I know you're ovulating."

Of course, it's also possible that ovulation would cause a single woman to convince a man to cheat on his partner with her. I've seen some anecdotal evidence on this recently.