I'm Rich, Bitch!

I just turned in $120 worth of quarters for cash at my bank. This will buy a lot of bourbon and cokes this weekend. I still have a bucket full of pennies, nickels and dimes at home. Every time I turn in my change, I can't help but think about the economic terrorism that Canada commits against the U.S. every day. Their pennies pass for American pennies all the time. In our stores, banks and workplaces. How much of U.S. inflation is attributable to Canadian pennies? I sure would like to know. (To those who say the charge of "economic terrorism" is too harsh, keep in mind that the U.S. committed economic terrorism in the early days of the Iraq war by flooding the Iraqi economy with fake Iraqi currency.)

I was also selected yesterday to be part of a focus group on politics and public policy in mid-January. The focus group is limited to DC policy wonks and political types. They're going to pay me $150 for two hours, which will buy a lot of bourbon and cokes. Finally, someone realizes that I should be paid $75 an hour to rant!! The selection did spark a mild existential crisis though. There were two groups - one for Democrats and one for Republicans. (You could say you're an independent, but you still had to select the group you identify the most with). Since I'm a registered dumbass Republican, I selected the Republican group. I almost barfed saying it. Then, I had to say whether I considered myself a liberal, conservative or moderate Republican. I insisted on being labeled a libertarian, but that wasn't an option. So, I said liberal. This is probably the most accurate. I can't wait to throw off the focus group by calling for the legalization of drugs, prostitution and gay marriage, and the abolition of the income tax, the draft, and the Department of Education. Who knows, maybe I'll just keep it simple and say we should smash the state.