Scotland One Large Padded Room for Holding Scots in Straightjackets

As others with Scottish blood echo our Scotland Sucks chant, the city of Edinburgh is now moving to outlaw all glasses from bars.

Colin Campbell, property developer, Regent Terrace: "This is the height of stupidity. Somebody could attack another person using just a pencil. So if you ban glasses, you'd have to ban plates, knives, forks, spoons too. It's silly, silly, silly."

The proposed law would allow beer to be served in either cans or plastic cups. Shots of 30-quid whisky, presumably, might come in a wee styrofoam dram.

More from the increasingly despondent Scotsman here.