Cover Your Ears While You Read This (I'm Revealing Olympic Results Before They've Aired)

Guess what happens when you're an Olympic skier and your mindset is grounded more in Hot Dog: The Movie than in a Warren Miller production?

An Olympic celebration turned into a mountain-sized embarrassment for Lindsey Jacobellis.

Coasting to what should have been an easy victory, the American made a hotdog grab of her board on the second-to-last jump. It caused her to fall and while she scrambled to her feet, Switzerland's Tanja Frieden became the first women's Olympic champion in the strange and wild sport of snowboardcross.

Jacobellis won silver, but should have had the gold. She was well, well ahead of Frieden, and the other two women in the four-rider final had fallen long ago.

Good. It's a priviledge to represent your country in the Olympics. Take it seriously or fuck off, Lindsey. (And, on second thought, that goes for you, too, Bode.) More on Jacobellis here.