To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Is Sheep-Fucker a Sex Offender?

A Michigan man found guilty of having sex with a sheep has been sentenced to up to 20 years in prison. That's ridiculous, but does his crime also make him a sex offender?
Tamara Towns, an assistant prosecutor for the county, argued that [Jeffrey] Haynes should be ordered to register as a sex offender because once out of prison, he could prey on children or vulnerable adults.
Don't get me wrong: I'm not defending Haynes's right to have sex with someone else's sheep. (He and his willy got wild and wooly with Dolly on someone else's farm.) But I fail to see how a man who likes to have sex with livestock poses any elevated danger to humans.

The sentence Haynes received is absurdly harsh -- even for someone like him who was on probation at the time of his crime. Just how absurd is evident when we look at a similar case in draconian Nigeria that was reported today. In the Nigerian case, an 18-year-old butcher who had sex with a sheep that subsequently died earned just a 3-month sentence. (The moral of that story, of course, is that a person should never have sex with an animal while also in the act of butchering said animal.)

For those of you who prefer fictional bestiality to the real deal, the Guardian shared an excerpt from a miserably written work of sheep-sex fiction a few years back.