No More Chocolate Salty Balls

Isaac Hayes has quit "South Park," where he voices Chef, saying he can no longer stomach its take on religion.

"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins," the 63-year-old soul singer and outspoken Scientologist said.

"Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored," he continued. "As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices."

But, South Park creators are claiming that it's Hayes who is religously intolerant.

South Park" co-creator Matt Stone responded sharply in an interview with The Associated Press Monday, saying, "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology... He has no problem — and he's cashed plenty of checks — with our show making fun of Christians."

Stone told The AP he and co-creator Trey Parker "never heard a peep out of Isaac in any way until we did Scientology. He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin."

I couldn't agree more.

On a related note, this is a good time for me to recommend to Stone and Parker that they eliminate the Chef character all-together and replace him with a lesbian Chef. Her voice should be the same as the current Chef - deep, manly, and seductive. She should also seduce all the town's women like Chef, as well as continue to provide the boys with good tips on how to please women.