The Twisted Majesty of Legalese

For those of us still struggling with writing styles that have been forever marred by encounters with law school and/or legal practice, writing clearly and concisely for a general audience can sometimes be a monumental task. When one is writing for a newspaper, whose target for readership is middle school, the challenge to "dumb down" is even more daunting. In short, legalese will not pass muster with the masses. Nor should it be the case for the professional classes, who surely constitute a large portion of TtP readership.

Here is a grand example of legalese of the highest order, lifted from a general release agreement proffered to a downsized employee:

I,_____, hereby release and forever discharge the "Company Releasees" herein, consisting of _____, and each of their parents, subsidiaries, and affiliates (collectively the "Companies"), and each of their respective past and present owners, members, stockholders, predecessors, successors, assigns, employees, agents, directors, officers, partners, representatives, lawyers, and all persons acting by, through, under, or in concert with them, or any of them, of and from any and all manner of claims or causes of action, in law or equity, of any nature whatsoever, known or unknown, fixed or contingent (hereinafter called "Claims"), that I now have or may hereafter have against the Company Releasees by reason of any and all acts, omissions, events or facts occurring or existing prior to the date hereof. The Claims released hereunder include, without limitation, any alleged breach of any express or implied employment agreement; and alleged torts or other alleged legal restrictions relating to my employment and the termination thereof; and any alleged violation of any federal, state or local statute or ordinance including, without limitation [citation of 11 federal and state employment laws], and any state or local laws of similar effect....

The drafter of this language deserves some commendation, though it is highly likely that it passed many lawyerly eyes -- and picked up many phrases along the way.

UCLA law Professor Eugene Volokh, center of his very own conspiracy, has a "cheat sheet" to "Eschew, Evade and/or Eradicate Legalese."