Calling a Spade a Spade

Finally, someone has put into words what we were all thinking when we learned that Heather Locklear is dating David Spade. From the always funny folks at The Superficial:

There has to be more to this that I'm just not seeing. It's physically impossible for a woman like Heather Locklear to be attracted to David Spade. It'd be like a beautiful swan falling in love with a monkey. Only the monkey is short. And ugly. And all the other monkeys hate him because he tells bad jokes and looks like a rodent. And maybe eats his own poo.

Bonus Superficials:

The back side of the Britney Spears statue that Baylen warned you about a few weeks ago. It made me vomit. And not in a good way.

Meanwhile, Tom Cruise eats deaf people. Lindsay Lohan makes Jessica Simpson cry. Cindy Crawford pretends not to be afraid of the homeless. And Hilary Swank shows her nipples (not safe for work).