To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Scottish Lasses Aspire to Bare Asses

A recent survey of Scottish teen girls revealed "that 63 per cent would rather be a topless model than a doctor or a nurse, while one in four considered lap-dancing a good profession," according to the Scotsman. Meanwhile, just "3 per cent aspired to be teachers."

I think these numbers sound just about right. Naturally, the state views them as a dreadful problem to be dealt with and is, also quite naturally, blaming all this on "the celebrity culture's influence among teenage girls." To combat the influence of these celebrities, the state has enlisted a whole bunch of... Scottish celebrities.

I'm sure most Scottish teenagers can name dozens of teachers who've influenced their lives. Probably quite negatively, too. Meanwhile, they can probably name nary a topless model or lap dancer, since there are exactly zero celebrities whose main gig involves either of these honourable pursuits. And while the Scot teens certainly can name a bunch of celebrities, enlisting the aid of these very celebrities to counter the influence of these same very celebrities is, well, it's about what we've come to expect from Scotland.

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