Members of Congress Upset They're Not Bigger Assholes

There are two certainties about every politician. They're always full of "number two", any they always want to be number one. Witness the turmoil that erupted when a DC-based software company developed software that ranks members of Congress using 15 characteristics of power that are based on 283 variables.

While the 10 most powerful senators and representatives seemed like the suspects one might expect, other chairmen, ranking members and recognizable legislators ranked far lower than some members and aides expected they would.

In fact, some offices are downright angry about the results.

"By rank alone, my boss is conference chair, No. 4 in leadership," said Sean Spicer, spokesman for House Republican Conference Chairwoman Deborah Pryce (R-Ohio), who ranked 32nd. "To say somehow she is in the 30s is ridiculous."

Wow, Congress really is like High School. Only its High School in Bizarro World, where nerds run everything.