We Can Make Shape-Shifting Cars, But We Can't Popularize the Baby Diaper Expression

If you're like me, you're pissed off that we still don't have the flying cars we were promised as kids. I mean, WTF? But, at least now we know why. Scientists are too busy working on other cool stuff.

First, cars that use cameras and radar to determine when an accident is about to happen and then activate shape-shifting metal to reinforce the area that will be struck. Jesus. Who needs flying cars when we have real-life Transformers? I would love to be able to settle traffic disputes with Rhino vs. Scorpion shape-shifting cars.

Second, insect-like robots known as "insbots" that can be used to infiltrate the nests of cockroaches and become their leader. Why waste time killing insects when you can get them to follow your insbot into somebody's elese house? Like that neighbor who leaves his alarm clock on while he's on vacation. Beep beep this, buddy.