If Life Begins at Moment of Conception, Bob Mathis Wants to Ban Post-Coital Cigarette

Just days after Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee said he'd prefer a total ban on cigarette sales in his state, chicken-state Rep. Bob Mathis, a former smoker, is giving momentum to the idea. Not to worry, though, because it's all for the (unborn) children.

If you're pregnant and you smoke, a Hot Springs legislator wants you to stop. In fact, Representative Bob Mathis wants his colleagues to study whether it should be against the law for you to smoke.

During this spring's special session, Mathis led the charge to ban smoking in cars with children. He told lawmakers on Saturday that children born to smokers face the risk of long-term health problems and questioned whether it was "constitutional" for a mother to smoke while pregnant.

The word "constitutional" is not a synonym for "the right thing to do" or "good for people," Bob. It refers, Bob, to the text of the U.S. Constitution, which happens to be an actual document. And as long as the word "constitutional" still refers to the Constitution, Bob, yes: Smoking by pregnant women is both "constitutional" and odious. Now die, stupid man.