When Monkeys Attack

A coworker sparked my interest earlier today when she said she heard that monkeys had recently escaped from their cages at a zoo and attacked visitors, breaking their arms and biting their groin areas. Perfect TtP material, right? I mean good for those monkeys. Throw off the shackles of your oppression! Unfortunately, she couldn't substantiate her claim. And a brief Google news search of the "monkey and groin" type didn't turn up anything.

However, in a recent bear-eats-monkey kind of story, bears eat a monkey in front of zoo visitors in Holland. I guess they had the munchies. Yeah, I went there. Did you think I wouldn't?

Also, here's a list of monkey attacks around the world. For some reason it stops at September 10, 2002. Maybe monkeys planned their own September 11th and flew planes into the offices of the people updating the site. What? Too soon?

My favorite attacks:

June 16, 2001/Mexico: Actor Salma Hayek suffered nerve and ligament damage after she was attacked and bitten on the hands, arms, and fingers by a capuchin monkey on a movie set.

April 3, 2001/Budapest, Hungary: Two chimpanzees escaped from their cages in a traveling circus and went on a rampage, terrorizing residents and attacking two people. One chimpanzee was cornered in a courtyard, and the other knocked himself out when he ran into a glass door.

April 1, 1999/Glen Burnie, Md.: A 2-year-old Bonnett macaque bit a woman on the lip at a tavern, touching off a brawl in which two other people were bitten.

June 3, 1995/Hollidaysburg, Pa.: An escaped "pet" monkey grabbed a kitchen knife and cigarette lighter, holding police at bay for nearly two hours. The monkey ran through the house and bit two women. Animal control caught the monkey with a snare. The monkey later died in a cage.