Egging You On

Recent news about eggs:

"Lifetime" for old people, "CBS", takes marketing to the next level.

The CBS logo and slogans promoting the TV network and its series will appear along with coded expiration dates on eggs sold by grocers, just another promotional measure in the competitive world of television.

More than 35 million eggs will be marked with phrases such as "CSI: Crack the Case on CBS" and "The Class, New Grade-A CBS Comedy" as part of a deal between the CBS Marketing Group and EggFusion, an egg-coding company.

Awesome. I love creative marketing. Like that time a pet store paid me $200 to tattoo "Buy Ferrets" on my penis. Sure it was niche marketing, but Paris Hilton bought a ferret. And now she's totally making out with it. Just a week after announcing to the world that she's going to stop sleeping with guys for a whole year. I'm not saying she's making love to her ferret, but the ferret reportedly smells like her vagina. Of course, ferrets naturally smell like burnt rubber and feces, so it's really hard to tell.

Meanwhile, a chicken in a Kazakh village recently gave birth to the Muslim god. This is far more believable than the birth of Jesus, which is predicated on the unbelievable notion that a Jewish girl was saving herself for marriage.