Now I've Heard Everything

I've blogged before about the stupidity of legislation introduced by Congressman John Sweeney (R-NY) that would would make it a federal crime to ship, transport, move, deliver, receive, possess, purchase, sell or donate a horse with the intent of killing it for human consumption. You know because it's wrong to eat horses, unlike cows, pigs, chickens, and other animals. The House Agriculture Committee voted 37 to 3 today to adversely report the legislation (HR 503) to the House floor. Basically the committee thought the bill was stupid but voted for it anyway (Republican leaders want an up-or-down floor vote on it in September.) Here's the kicker: Because horses that are sent to slaughter are generally horses that no one wants, the law would create a surplus of unwanted horses. The committee adopted two amendments to solve this problem.

One, offered by Michael K. Conaway, R-Texas, would force the Agriculture Department to compensate owners for the cost of euthanizing their horses if the option of slaughter no longer exists.

Another, offered by John Salazar, D-Colo., would make the Agriculture Department responsible for unwanted horses, highlighting the fact that the bill provides no mechanism to make sure thousands of unwanted horses are taken care of.

So you could kill your horse - at taxpayer expense - but it would be a federal crime to sell the meat. And a federal agency would take care of unwanted horses. I guess we'll have hundreds of federal employees bathing and feeding unwanted horses. I'm not kidding. The exact language of the amendment reads "The Secretary [of Agriculture] shall assume responsibility for any equine that is unwanted by an owner." In case you don't know, equines include horses, asses and zebras. But wait, there's more.

The bill would also give the Department of Agriculture the power to "detain for examination, testing, or the taking of evidence any horse at any horse show, horse exhibition, or horse sale or auction which is sore or which the Secretary has probable cause to believe is sore"; and "any horse or other equine which the Secretary has probable cause to believe" will be killed for human consumption. So basically the Department of Agriculture will become a federal child protection agency for horses. It will takes horses away from owners on mere suspicion that they're being abused and then care for them at taxpayer expense. A federal foster horse program can't be too far around the corner. You'll soon be able to get a federal check to take an unwanted horse into your home.

Via CQ (subscription required).