To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Can You Hear Me Now, Cynthia McKinney? Don't Even Try to Bleach My Ass, Tom Cruise. You can start a civil war in my pants any day, Lindsay Lohan!

Congresswoman Cynthia "Get Out of My Way, I'm Cynthia McKinney" McKinney has lost her primary race. Apparently Georgia voters hate assaulting police officers with cell phones as much as they hate promoting 9-11 conspiracy theories. God, they're lucky to have someone as interesting as Cynthia McKinney. They could have Dennis "Fat Fuck" Hastert. Or Joe "running for president for political reasons" Biden. Or Mark "ugly face" Souder. I mean a crazy member of Congress in the hand is worth two lame members of Congress in the bush.

This is the second time McKinney has been kicked out of Congress. Will she pull off another come back? Not if Tom Cruise gets his way. I have no proof that he is behind 9-11 or the defeat of Cynthia McKinney, but he is a scientolgist. And what's the point of belonging to some kooky religion if people can't blame everything on you. Like making your wife bleach her anus.

Oh what the hell, here are my favorite comments to the Daily Dish's post entitled "Cruise Denies Baby Shyness".

What's wrong with being reluctant to show off your alien-baby?
Posted By: BigFatMoore August 08 2006 at 02:39 PM

I got as far as "Cruise denies baby."
Posted By: mammamia August 08 2006 at 02:48

BTW- I can't even watch a TC movie anymore- I think he's trying to brainwash us all through secret mind-tricks through the DVD player....I can't believe I had a crush on him after I saw "All the Right Moves!" damn!What was I thinking?!?!
Posted By: purplebay August 08 2006 at 05:34 PM
Bonus: Lindsay Lohan wants to go to Iraq to entertain the troops with or without Hillary Clinton the Satanic Senator from New York.

"I wanted to do what Marilyn Monroe did (during the Korean War), when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops all by herself. It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be."
Wow. I guess we all have our aspirations. Some people want to bring peace to the Middle East. Others want to be ogled by the Middle East. Nobel peace prize winner or beautiful sex kitten? Who would you want to sleep with?

Bonus Bonus: Screw the real sequels to Rambo, Rocky and Die Hard that are in the works, I want to see this fake sequel made:
Beastmaster: The Age of Man. Dar (Marc Singer) now runs a ferret-breeding ranch with his longtime love Kiri (Tanya Robert), but their peace is threatened when concerned neighbors tell Dar he's too old to continue to wear a loincloth. His ability to talk to animals is muddled by dementia, but that won't stop him from saving himself and the defending the rights of elder loincloth wearers in this age of sorcery and savagery.

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