Can't We Sue Trial Lawyers for Being "Unreasonably Dangerous" and a "Defective Product"?

Uh, I wish these bitches had died.

Two Florida women who were severely burned when shots of Bacardi 151 rum were set on fire in a bar are suing the liquor company, Fox News reported Aug. 1.

Agata Macierzynska and Danielle Alleyne were both burned by burning alcohol after a fellow nightclub patron set fire to a stream of rum being poured by a bartender. The women filed separate suits in Miami claiming that Bacardi marketed a product that was defective and dangerous.

In semi-related news, I'm above average for once.

A new Gallup Poll finds that Americans who drink are drinking more often and in greater quantity...

...weekly drinking has risen from 54 percent of drinkers to 71 percent, and the average drinks consumed per week has jumped from 2.8 in 1996 to 4.5 in 2006. Some experts believe that research about the health benefits of moderate drinking may be fueling this trend.

Telling people that moderate drinking is healthy is actually dangerous to their health, get it?

And only 4.5 drinks a week? I drink 4.5 drinks a day. I've went through a six-pack already and it's only 10am. But, don't worry about me. After a few lines of meth and a stem cell enema I'll be able work just fine.