The Coming Hoffcracy

Liz Kelly exposes a scheme of Hasselhoffian proportions. From re-arranging couples to leading guerrilla attacks on hotel rooms, David Hasselhoff is up to something. You have been warned.

Why would Pam and Kid suddenly reunite and marry if it weren't somehow to Hasselhoff's advantage? Why would Carmen and Dave -- who told us on MTV that they'd be together "Till Death Do Us Part" -- suddenly split? Hasselhoff again. Clearly, he's realigning his former female co-stars for some coming event, the depravity of which I daren't imagine. Somewhere Yasmine Bleeth awaits her orders.

Side note to Minerva, notice the stink lines coming from Hasselhoff's name.