To the People

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Friday, August 18, 2006

Kaz Matsui Wears Toe Socks

I'm not really a "foot" guy. While I've seen my share of feet that grossed me out -- usually during dinnertime, the witching hour for anti-fungal ads -- there's nothing about any foot I've ever seen that's ever particularly turned me on.

Now, what I do like are socks with toes, which are to a regular sock as a mitten is to a glove. (For you analogy people out there, that's Regular Socks:Socks with Toes = Mittens:Gloves.) They're cute. They don't excite me in a fetishy sort of way, I just think they look kind of cool.

Try as I might, though, I can't get my girlfriend to wear them. She thinks they're stupid.

I'm hoping I can change her mind right here and now. How so? Well, it seems that not only is the toe sock not stupid, the toe sock is so cool that it's worn by even the most disappointing and overrated highly touted of athletes.

Take former Met and current Rocky (Rockie?) infielder Kaz Matsui. You know who wears toe socks? Kaz Matsui wears toe socks. We know this because right now at the official Auctions website, you too can become the owner of one Kaz Matsui 2005 Game-Used Sock. (Those who know Matsui's work will no doubt snicker at the notion that any part of him or his wardrobe was ever "game-used".)

Current bidding is already up to $1 thanks to sole bidder "TomStatenIsland". The auction closes in just two days.

Kaz's sock is the only sock listed at the auction site. This got me wondering if his was specially designed, or if other Mets wear toe socks. Does nasty Paul Lo Duca wear toe socks? How about Pedro, or Delgado, or David Wright?

What about other teams? Does Barry Bonds wear toe socks? Ichiro? How about Ortiz and Manny? Are Red Sox socks toed?

Do managers wear toe socks? Does that mean Ozzie Guillen and Frank Robinson wear toe socks?

How about past players? Did Mark McGwire wear toe socks? Did Antonio Alfonseca wear six-toed toe socks? When teams today wear throwback uniforms, are toe socks part of the outfit?

How about Willie McGee? Did Willie McGee wear toe socks? This specific question requires some serious investigation. And I hope my girlfriend -- a Cardinals fan and huge Willie McGee fan -- is paying attention. If it turns out old Willie got his speed and his flair from toe socks, you can bet she'll be in a pair and loving it in no time.