To the People

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Sunday, November 05, 2006

Breaking News: Gay Basher Totally Gay

Rev. Ted Haggard has admitted that most of the charges levied against him by a gay prostitute are true, and that he has committed "sexual immortality" (i.e. gay sex).

In a letter that was read to the congregation of the New Life Church by another clergyman, Haggard apologized for his acts and requested forgiveness.

"I am so sorry for the circumstances that have caused shame and embarrassment for all of you," he said, adding that he had confused the situation by giving inconsistent remarks to reporters denying the scandal.

"The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality. And I take responsibility for the entire problem. I am a deceiver and a liar. There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life," he said.

Haggard resigned last week as president of the National Association of Evangelicals, where he held sway in Washington and condemned homosexuality, after a man claimed to have had drug-fueled homosexual trysts with him. Haggard also placed himself on administrative leave from the New Life Church, which has 14,000 members, but its independent Overseer Board fired him on Saturday.

Unquestionably, his unwillingness to admit to himself and others that he's gay has driven him to prove he's not gay by bashing gays and opposing same-sex marriage. How many other gay bashers are really gay? I'm going to say most. But, I could be wrong. It could be all of them. It's so sad that organized religion makes people suffer like this. Stuff like this also makes we wonder how many drug war extremists are really drug users. Maybe drug war extremist Rep. Mark Souder is doing meth and cocaine. That certainly would explain his obsession with throwing people in jail for drugs.