To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I Can't Wait for the TomKat Wedding

to be held in Italy this Saturday. What will happen at this celebrity / scientologist wedding? Will they serve placenta to their guests? Instead of cake will he smear feces on Katie's face? Will they all wear tin-foil hats to ward-off Klingons, or whoever it is that Scientologists are afraid of? Nothing would surprise me at this point. Except for a normal wedding. Which would be impossible to have in the 15th Century medieval castle they're holding their wedding in. Will he have Katie beheaded if she speaks out of turn? My Magic Eightball says "yes". (Actually it says "try again" but I don't have all day to get the answer I want).

In other celebrity news, the only thing stranger than a Cruise / Holmes wedding, is wax replicas of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie getting married.

And in the sleaziest move of all time, Kevin Federline is using a four-hour sex tape of him and Britney to blackmail Britney into paying $30 million and giving him custody of the kids. Could this guy sink any lower? Not after having sex with Britney Spears for four hours. Gross. I would rather have sex with my sister than Britney Spears. Of course my sister is hot and gives good blow jobs, so it's not even close. Superficial has a 19-second clip of the video here. Totally NOT SAFE FOR WORK or your eyes.