To the People

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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

News Flash: Duct tape no magical cure for warts, study finds

Uh, OK. Thanks, Reuters.
Duct tape does not work any better than doing nothing to cure warts in schoolchildren, Dutch researchers reported on Monday in a study that contradicts a popular theory about an easy way to get rid of the unattractive lumps.
That was money well spent.

I never even thought of using duct tape that way. Using it for kidnapping people, yes. Shutting wives up, yes. Taping down your breasts if you work in a speakeasy, sure. Using it to hold your muffler on to your car, yeah I've done that. But to remove warts? Strange. Those Dutch are so crazy. They were probably high when they thought of that.

Cartoons making fun of the Homeland Security Department's obsession with duct tape here. 2003 article on a terror-related surge in duct tape purchasing here. Yeah, that radiation will never get through tape. If only we could build a duct tape shield around American cities.

And speaking of duct tape, put some over your eyes before you watch this clip of Kirstie Alley stripping on Oprah. And if you have any tape left over use it to tape-up the mouth of Kanye West who is as The Superficial says, still a whiny little bitch. Clip of him whining here.