To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Stab Me Once, Shame on You. Stab Me Twice, Shame on Me.

O.J. Simpson is doing a TV interview to publicize his new "how to" book.

Fox plans to broadcast an interview with O.J. Simpson in which the former football star discusses "how he would have committed" the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend, for which he was acquitted, the network said.

The two-part interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29, the TV network said.
The LAPD are the smartest police in the world. Not just planting his bloody glove and fingerprints at the scene, but putting offensive style wounds on his hands and making him write a suicide note in which he basically confesses to the double homicide. Yep, those police sure are talented. In related news, I'm still working on my book "Cicero: If I Fucked Scarlett Johansson, Here's How It Happened." See, O.J. really did kill Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman. And I really did fuck Scarlett Johansson. Get it? Get it? Do you get it?

I threw salt on the wounds of O.J.'s victims here. (Sorry, Keith)

And when God closes the door by making a Britney Spears sex tape available, he opens a door.
Hollywood star Scarlett Johansson is spitting mad, and the reason for her ire are reports that she is the leading lady in a steamy audio sex tape that has hit the internet. Johansson is said to have inadvertently made the tape after accidentally leaving her microphone on during a romp with beau Josh Hartnett in a parked car. The couple, who hooked up while working on the film 'The Black Dahlia', can be heard having oral sex, the audio tape of which is being sold on the Internet for 26 dollars, reports NW magazine.

Jesus, Buddha, Allah, I love you all!