The Case Against Tenure

From a CBS News transcript that I only have a hard copy of:

[CBS News Correspondent Trish] REGAN: This is the brain scan of a drug-addicted rat. When the rat thinks it 's about to get its morphine fix, the brain lights up, and look what happens when a rat conditioned to like sweets thinks it's going to get chocolate. The brain shows similar activity.

Mr. JOHN BANZHAF (George Washington University Law School): This could be the smoking gun. We could say that fat is the next tobacco. All right, how about the legal argument?

REGAN: Law professor John Banzhaf hopes to use the addiction argument to go after fast-food companies. He's already been involved in some of the eight lawsuits that resulted in settlements or industry changes.

Mr. BANZHAF: If we can change the six major fast-food companies so they are providing clear and conspicuous disclosure on their menu of fats and calories, and they're providing appropriate health warning, we will have a very dramatic impact on the overall problem of obesity, and it will happen immediately.

Yes, I'm sure Americans will stop eating junk food once they learn the truth that junk food is bad for them. Damn corporate America, hiding the fact that Big Macs and grease-soaked french fries are full of fat! If only someone would give consumers the truth!! Making fast-food companies list calories on their menus isn't enough. We need to force them to put pictures of obese people on their menus. And every person buying a Big Mac should be made to sign a form reading, "I hereby certify that I've been informed that eating lots of these could turn me into a fat slob." Ah hell, let's just go that extra step. If fatty food is like drugs, then shouldn't we ship fat people off to a fat farm to force them to lose weight? And give junk food dealers 25-to -life sentences?

On a more personal note, John Banzhaf is a fat fuck. Seriously. Much like most rabid homophobes are probably gay, most anti-fatty-food fanatics probably have eating problems. Instead of sitting at his desk thinking up new legal arguments for putting McDonald's out of business - or to be more precise, thinking up ways to steal billions of dollars from fast-food companies and give it to his lawyer friends - Banzhaf should go for a run. Interestingly, he is also the father of "Restroom Equity", which in his Orwellian world actually means restroom inequity.

I await the day when people can collect damages in court by suing people like him who spend a lifetime devising new ways to trample on people's freedom. I guess we have to wait until Baylen graduates law school for that kind of good frivolous lawsuit.

Finally, I'm not sure what this means but blogger's spellcheck keeps trying to turn "Banzhaf" into "pawnshop."