Good Morning, America!

I was sitting at my computer early this frigid morning, reading the news while my youngest gave me a snuggle, when I clicked over to FoxNews.com to be confronted by such delightful headlines as these:

• Three Girls Arrested for Videotaped Beating Posted on the Internet
• Cops: Man Filmed Wife's Rape, Torture
• Naked Lawyer Solicited Girl, 14

And my favorite:

• Reward Offered in Sodomizing of N.J. Puppy

Jesus. Six-thirty in the morning and already I need hard liquor.