To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Airport Wine Vignette and the Importance of the Pats

Transporting wine really reminds one of the long arm of the law. In an earlier post, which was picked up by Wonkette via CutDCTaxes, I bemoaned the DC law that limits the amount that a winery can ship to one quart per resident per month (note to DC government: wine is sold in liters).

On my last California trip I was resolved to get some goddamned wine home so I decided to put it in my luggage wrapped safely in my dirty clothing and check my bag, as DHS forbids any liquids, even in sealed containers, in carry-on luggage because they can't tell the difference between an al Qaeda terrorist and a yuppie. At the Southwest check-in I had a funny encounter with the airline employee and an heroic stranger wearing a Patriots sweatshirt:
SWA employee: Ma'am, do you have any wine in your luggage?
Me: Yes, two bottles.
SWA employee: The bottles need to be wrapped in bubble wrap in order for me to check your luggage. Are they wrapped in bubble wrap, and I don't mean t-shirts, but bubble wrap?
Me: ....uh...well...(thinking where the hell can I buy bubble wrap at the airport so should I lie?)
Patriots fan: Yes, it is packed in bubble wrap [wink wink at me]. I packed it myself.
SWA employee: Ma'am, did you not pack your own suitcase? If you did not pack your suitcase yourself I cannot check your luggage.
Me: Well, of course I packed my suitcase!
Patriots fan: Yes, of course she did, but I was watching her and saw her wrap those bottles in bubble wrap.
SWA employee: Ma'am, are those bottles really wrapped in bubble wrap? Because if they aren't I can't check them and the airport will confiscate them.
Me: ...(confiscate!)
Patriots fan: Of course they are wrapped in bubble wrap. Would my wife and I lie to you?
SWA employee: Okay, I will check them. But next time be sure you wrap them in bubble wrap.
Thank you heroic Patriots fan, who had no motive but to help me get past a stupid regulation. You have the true spirit of TtP. I like that New England mettle, and fwiw would much rather see Tom Brady win the Super Bowl than whiny and gross Peyton Manning.