Freedom of Contract

Over the last 50 years politicians, bureaucrats, and judges have been destroying the fundamental right to enter into contracts, from minimum wage laws that prevent willing workers and willing employers from making a deal to anti-prostitution laws that prevent horny men and greedy whores from legally getting together. Now this:

A man who police said entered into a sex pact with his girlfriend and her 15-year-old daughter pleaded no contest to felony sex charges.

Michael J. Fitzgibbon, 37, also pleaded no contest to more serious sex charges involving sex acts with a 12-year-old girl, a relative.

Authorities say Fitzgibbon's girlfriend was afraid of losing him while she recuperated from gastric bypass surgery, so she arranged for him to have sex with her daughter for two months.

All three of them allegedly signed a contract that allowed the girl privileges such as piercings and hair dye in exchange for the sex acts. She testified earlier that she and Fitzgibbon had sex two to three times each week for two months last summer.

A signed contract guaranteeing sex on an ongoing basis? Sign-off from his girlfriend to sleep with her daughter? This guy is a god. If there was an annual award for the best pimp move it would be called a Fitzgibbon. This guy is my hero; although I would have made it, uh, an oral contract.