To the People

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Thursday, March 15, 2007

Senior Democrat Seeks to Prohibit Debate on Throwing Kittens into a Wood-Chipper

Few things bring me joy any more. I've lived a long life. So watching the Colbert Report while I smoke pistachios and stick copies of The Weekly Standard up my ass is all I got left. Now the Democratic Caucus Chairman Rahm Emanuel (D-Ill.) wants to take it all away.
Rep. Rahm Emanuel (D-Ill.), the Democratic Caucus chairman, has told new Democratic members of Congress to steer clear of Stephen Colbert, or at least his satirical Comedy Central program, “The Colbert Report.”

“He said don’t do it … it’s a risk and it’s probably safer not to do it,” said Rep. Steve Cohen. But the freshman lawmaker from Tennessee taped a segment that last week was featured in the 32nd installment of the “Better Know a District” series. Colbert asked Cohen whether he was a black woman. He isn’t.

Eyes (but thankfully, not heads) roll in Emanuel’s office when other freshmen stumble, such as the time Rep. John Yarmuth (D-Ky.) got into a debate about the merits of throwing kittens into a wood-chipper, or when Rep. Zack Space (D-Ohio) explained that he is not his predecessor, convicted felon Bob Ney (R).
Shredded kitten video here.

My favorite "Better Know a District" clip here and here.

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