To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

I'm Worth at Least $187,200

A new report has me thinking...
If the typical stay-at-home mother in the United States were paid for her work as a housekeeper, cook and psychologist among other roles, she would earn $138,095 a year, according to research released on Wednesday.
The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week, it said, working 40 hours at base pay and 52 hours overtime.
Hmmm....well, let's see. Not counting my job, I spend about 5 hours a week advising people on their manners and letting them know when they're being assholes. Not sure how much this is worth but let's say $20 an hour. I also spend about 10 hours a week giving out advice. This week alone I've advised a job-seeker to paperclip halves of torn $50 bills to her resumes when sending them out. That's sure to get her interviews. I've also suggested on many occasions peeing your pants to get out of a boring conversation you're trapped in. I think many libertarian women have used this strategy at AFF and Reason events. And let's not forget all my advice on relationships (they suck), babies (abort them all), and sex (let the woman be on top, why should the man do all the work). I'm not sure what this advice is worth, but if I was a therapist or a fancy newspaper columnist I would probably be getting at least $100 an hour. And of course, if I was an escort and/or gigolo (instead of just giving it away for free) I would be making $500 a night. So all in all, outside of my job I have an imaginary salary of $187,200. If only someone would compensate me. Sadly, I can't compete with the illegal immigrants willing to do it all for $10 a week, some Twinkies and a free place to stay.