To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Monday, May 07, 2007

To Do: 1) Learn to Speak with a British Accent; 2) Invite Lindsay Lohan to My Next Party; 3) Give Her Cocaine

Lindsay Lohan needs better friends. You know like me.

A friend of Lohan has leaked a video of Lindsay snorting cocaine and shoving it up a friend's nose while the two were crammed in a toilet at club Teddy's. The friend that leaked the video says she's worried about Lindsay and "that's why I'm showing this video. So the world can know what Lindsay has been doing and she can't lie about it to herself or anyone else." She also says:

"When she is on coke, which is most of the time, all the attention has to be on her. I have lost count of the number of times I have watched as she stripped naked in front of everyone. Then she loves to check herself out in the mirror as she parades around with her boobs hanging out. One night we had gone back to her place and, as always, as soon as she walked through the door she stripped down to her thong, bent down and snorted cocaine off her coffee table and then off her toilet seat. She has told me that she has slept with James Blunt, Jude Law, Calum Best, Joaquin Phoenix, Benicio Del Toro, Jared Leto and James Franco. She loves Brits and has told me she has slept with the singer James Blunt a few times over the past month. "

And to think the government has banned this wonder drug. Damn you drug war! I guess I will stick to buying women shots of bourbon until their tops fall off somehow. I have nothing to do with it. It's gravity.

Pictures, video and more at Superficial.

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