To the People

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Friday, October 12, 2007

Weekend Football Preview

Rams (+9.5) at Ravens (-9.5)

Last week, I said the Ravens would lose to the 49ers. This did not happen – thanks to the Ravens’ nine-point offensive explosion. I’d love to pick the Rams here, but they are horrible and Gus Frerotte will be throwing the ball. This is the same guy who, while with the Redskins, thought it would be a good idea to run full-speed, head-first into a padded cement wall to celebrate a touchdown. You can’t get much dumber.

The winless Rams will almost certainly lose. The score will not be too lopsided, though, because in order for that to happen, the Ravens would have to score a lot of points. The Ravens offense is incapable of doing this. Fuck the McNair and Boller controversy – put Ed Reed at the QB position. They couldn’t do WORSE than zero touchdowns, right? Final Score: Ravens 16 – Rams – 10.

Patriots (-6) at Cowboys (+6)

Pats v. Cowboys. Brady v. Romo. Talented/annoying WR v. talented/even more annoying WR. Best of the good conference v. best of the shitty conference. For all its hype, this game will be a huge letdown. Both teams have been winning convincingly, but New England has been utterly dominating teams from the more respected AFC. Dallas has looked solid for the most part, but that ugly win Monday night against the pathetic Buffalo Bills makes me question how good they really are. Tony Romo looked pathetic, throwing 5 INTs and losing one fumble. He can’t afford to make those mistakes against the Patriots.

So picture a large stallion (the Pats) and a normal sized human (the Cowboys). I predict, basically, that the hoofed beast from New England will bend the ‘Boys over and thoroughly dominate them. For a vivid depiction of this image, think horse sodomizing man. NOW you see. Final Score: Horse… I mean… Patriots 34 – Cowboys 19.

Redskins (+3) at Packers (-3)

Explosive offense with a gun-slinging QB. Am I talking about the Packers? Am I talking about Lions, who the Redskins demolished in week 5? Does it matter? Well, it does matter… a little. The ‘Skins were able to mount a good pass rush without blitzing last week against Detroit’s offensive line, enabling them to keep their secondary in coverage. Washington’s 34 point output can be attributed to Detroit’s lousy defense and also to an exceptional performance by Jason Campbell, who was named NFC’s offensive player of the week.

The Packers have a pretty stingy defense. And QB Brett Favre has been playing as good as anyone in the league. Both teams seem to be more energized this year – which should result in an excellent game. If Favre limits his mistakes, he will be able to take advantage of the athletic, yet inexperienced, Redskins secondary. If Washington can force him into making a couple ill-advised throws into coverage, look for the Gibbs/Saunders offensive to grind their way to a win. I think Favre will throw two INTs, which will be just enough for Campbell, Portis and Co. to capitalize. Final Score: Redskins 24 – Packers 20.

Feel free to discuss.

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