To the People

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Friday, October 26, 2007

Weekend Football Preview

I was three for three last week, after choosing an admittedly easy array of games. In Week 8, I take a different approach. Let’s see how it pans out.

Steelers (-3.5) at Bengals (+3.5)
Pittsburgh (4-2) currently sits at the top of a surprisingly average AFC North division, while Cincinnati (2-4) is curled up pathetically on the bottom. If the Bengals want to have a realistic shot at the playoffs, these cats must quit being pussies. They must scratch and claw for every yard. They must viciously devour their prey… Ok that one was a stretch… But what I’m saying is that Cincinnati has to play with more emotion, especially on defense, to become a contender.

If they can’t get pumped to play the rival Steelers at home, then they deserve to be in last place. Cincy is 2 – 1 at home, the loss coming against the immortal Patriots. Willie Parker and the Steelers boast the second best rushing attack in the NFL, which they will undoubtedly rely on this week against Cincinnati’s rush defense – ranked sixth worst in the league. We know about the offensive weapons that the Bengals possess. I think they come to play and the defense plays just hard enough. Final Score: Bengals 26 – Steelers 24.

Raiders (+7.5) at Titans (-7.5)
Besides their lopsided week 6 loss the Chargers, every game the Raiders have played has been a hard fought battle. Oakland almost beat Denver at home, but ultimately lost by a field goal in overtime. They beat a decent Browns team. Last week, they lost to the resurgent Chiefs by 2. Their schedule hasn’t been particularly hard, but it hasn’t been particularly easy, either. My point is that this Raiders team doesn’t suck as much as most people think.

Will the Raiders beat the Titans on Sunday? I don’t know, but I do know they could. ESPN’s entire expert panel is picking Tennessee to win. I’m not. The Raiders must have success on the ground with their pair of solid RB’s – LaMont Jordan and Dominic Rhodes. They rank an impressive fifth in the NFL with 145.8 rushing ypg. These backs may have a difficult time against a Tennessee defense allowing only 59.7 rushing yards per game, tops in the NFL. This defense is due for a letdown game. LaMont looks like he’s healthy and back to his start-of-season form. I think he has a fine day, helping Oakland upset Tennessee. Final Score: Raiders 17 – Oakland 14.

Redskins (+16) at Patriots (-16)
Tom who? Randy who? Oh, Brady and Moss. Of course. You can’t even pretend to not know about these guys, unless you admit to not following sports. Just one of these excuses won’t do. Brady is frustratingly charismatic and confident off the field, and equally frustrating to opposing defenses on the field. Moss is an alien, with a ridiculous ability to rise off the ground and catch any balls thrown his way – sort of like a slutty Southwest passenger, except with more athletic ability. And smaller boobs. So before going any further, I’ll state the obvious – the Redskins will lose this game.The sixteen point spread does seem a little excessive, but the Patriots have been dominating everyone and the Redskins have been sputtering. However, the Redskins do have a small ray of hope. His name is Sean Taylor. He leads the league in INT's, with 5 through six games. He doesn’t speak, but he hits hard. He, like Randy Moss, is a freakish alien of an athlete. The Redskins may be able to use him to neutralize the standout New England WR. Still, Washington has to stifle the rest of the Patriot’s offense and have a nearly flawless offensive effort of its own. Maybe Taylor knocks Moss out of the game in the first minute. Redskins fans probably aren’t that lucky. Final Score: Patriots 32 – Redskins 17.

Ed---We've taken to writing posts that are so long they would embarrass even the most boring Russian novelist. It may be time to put the old article section to use for occasions like this. For now, enjoy scrolling, and scrolling and scrolling through one tediously long post after another.

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