This is Better Than the Time I Claimed I Didn't Have Chlamydia...Or Gonorrhea...Or Syphilis...Or Gental Warts

Ok, so it wasn't "one time". More like every every time...But girls today are so demanding. They're all like, "Are you clean?" or "Whats that large bump doing on your penis?" or even better "Where's the puss coming from?" I mean really.....Such high standards from women willing to have sex with me...Demanding is a better word.

Anyways, Amy Winehouse pulls a "Rob" and claims she doesn't use drugs. As she is passing out during the interview with Blender. No joke. From Holy Moly:

Channeling Marks & Spencer voice): This is the Amy Winehouse who was hospitalised after a drug overdose in August. But she doesn't take drugs.

This is the Amy Winehouse who was arrested in Norway for possession of marijuana. But she doesn't take drugs.

This is the drug-free Winehouse who was speaking to Blender magazine when she made the claim that she doesn't take drugs.

This is the Amy Winehouse who fell asleep three times during the interview with Blender magazine.

This is the Amy Winehouse who said, "I take, like, anti- ... I take stuff for my depression. Prescriptive stuff. But I don't take it.

"I don't have the time [for drugs]... I'm a really big drinker. I used to be there before the pub opened, banging on the door." And never, repeat never, at any time taking drugs. Well I believe her. And as Chris Morris pointed out, alcohol isn't a drug, it's a drink.

P.S. If you happen to be female and run into me at a bar, these are all just jokes, really. I mean I swear -- nothing to pass on from me to you. Except sweat. Boy do sweat a lot, but I consider that an asset. Not sure why, but I do.