When Humping Your Bicycle is Outlawed Only Outlaws Will Hump Bicycles

The biggest problem with sex offenders registries is that there are too many people on them who are not real sex offenders. A case in point:

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation... Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years...Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

So simulating sex with a bicycle in the privacy of your own hotel room makes you a sex offender? Bullshit. I suppose one could argue that the real offense was simulating sex in front of hotel staff, but can't people take a joke any more?

More here. Via The Agitator.