Going to a Memorial Service? Don't Forget Your Porn

A memorable memorial service:

A Boulder man was arrested early Thursday after police said he crashed a memorial service, grabbed the breast of the deceased woman's sister and showed her mother pornographic pictures.

And that folks, is how I want my memorial service to go.

Mom, you reading this? What am I saying, of course she is. She never misses a blog post -- I mean short story for cancer patients...Yes Mom, I told you that already. I write short stories -- for free -- for pediatric cancer patients. Doctors said something about graphic language and drug references helping defeat cancer cells. That and excessive drinking and drug use. By me...Hey, I'm not the doctor, I just do what I can to help.

So Mom, mark this down -- Lots of groping and porn at your son's memorial service. More porn than groping. I wouldn't want to creep out your relatives too much. No, that doesn't mean you can leave out the tranny porn. Or midgets. We gotta' have the midget porn.