Know Your Limits -- Then Push Them Until You're Willing to Sleep with Rob

Daily Mail:

Middle class drinkers are to be bombarded with TV, radio and newspaper adverts warning them of the dangers of alcohol.

Ministers are stepping up their campaign against unhealthy boozing with a multi-million pound blitz on people who have a glass of two of wine at home at the end of the day.

The drive, launched today, is designed to alert middle-aged drinkers to the number of units of alcohol in each glass and leave them in no doubt that regularly exceeding recommended levels causes health problems.[...]

"We are not saying don't drink," public health minister Dawn Primarolo insisted last night. "I enjoy a glass of wine myself.

"It is not saying don't, it's saying here's the information and think about it. It is presented in a nonjudgmental, directly identifiable environment."

Good grief...The terrorist have won. Isn't this what we Yanks and Brits are fighting for in Iraq? The right to drink as much booze as we want at home? Don't the Islamistfacisterroist hates us because of our decadent, whore mongering western culture that feeds on excess in drugs, alcohol and sex? That's the war I signed up for and I'm punching out if that isn't the plan anymore. Let me know when we are back on that "terrorist hate us for who we are" meme.

In the meantime, check out the UK's Know Your Limits website, bound to make you laugh and give you a chubby at the same time. There you can post your "I'm a whore who uses booze as an excuse to be a big whore" stories like Anna:

"A typical example of a night out was once when I was in a pub with a group of friends, and I slipped out unnoticed – my mates found me unconscious later on, in a shop doorway covered in my own sick.

On other occasions, my drinking sessions made me really promiscuous, and I slept with a series of strangers on one-night stands, and then contracted a number of sexually transmitted diseases. One particular occasion, I went to the pub I worked in on my own, and left 10 minutes later with a completely random bloke nobody knew. I took him home where we drank, did drugs and had sex. A couple of hours later I walked him back to the pub and said goodbye.[...]

After an all-too regular pattern of near-misses and scrapes, and once the drinking became compulsive and secretive, she knew she had a problem – so she has cut back severely on her drinking.

Well, goodbye Anna, I wish I had had the chance to know you. However, my limited travels around this world tell me that there will always be another sloppy drunk British girl to take Anna's place. Ladette to Lady anyone?

And if posting the story about that one time you were really drunk and let your roommate's dog lick your asshole isn't your idea of fun, you can always play the "Night Out" game. I choose the girl character, had one drink with the cute guy who was eyeing me at the bar and then ended up sexually assaulted. I'm not sure what happened, but it was probably my fault. Good times.