To the People

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Monday, September 22, 2008

This Week In Prostitution


It's been a busy week for the world's oldest profession, so let's relax and get right to it:

Life Imitates Late Night Cinemax Movie:
In the category of "why didn't I ever get a teacher like this in junior high?" a New Zealand educator was discovered moonlighting as an escort. Here's the real twist: She may actually keep her day job. Prostitution is legal in New Zealand and the woman is arguing that as long as she does it on her off hours and it doesn't interfere with her teaching, they don't have cause to fire her:
Teachers' Council director Peter Lind said the most important factor was whether the teacher's second job was affecting her teaching duties, "and there would have to be actual evidence".
She's not alone either:
Prostitutes Collective national co-ordinator Catherine Healy said there were several teachers who had second jobs as prostitutes.
Prostitutes -- A Leading Economic Indicator. Despite the carnage on Wall Street, a Columbia University sociologist says the meltdown is not likely to hurt Gotham's call-girl business. That makes sense. If ever there was a time those Wall Street guys needed to blow off some stress, this is it. Meanwhile globalization is bringing a better quality of escort to India, the land that gave us the Kama Sutra. Elsewhere around the world, there's crackdown going on in South Korea.

Atlas Shrugged, Then Humped:
New York Magazine prints the epic account of a high class New York pimp who says he was inspired by Ayn Rand:
To me, the higher percentage of your life you are happy, the more successful you are,” says Jason, who came upon his philosophy while reading Ayn Rand. “I was really into the ‘Who is John Galt?’ Atlas Shrugged thing. I thought I could save the world if I could bring together the truly elite people, the most beautiful women with the most perfect bodies, best faces, and intelligence, and the elite men, the captains of industry, lawyers, and senators. This would bring about the most happiness, to the best people, who most deserved to be happy.”
The New York Post reports how his agency's staff included a young woman named "Kristen" who was a favorite of "Client No. 9" better known as Eliot Spitzer. "This girl could be our next superstar," one of the agency's top girls said. Be careful what you wish for. That's her in the picture above.

Duncanville, Texas, Knows How To Make Zoning Disputes Sexy: Despite the best efforts of the local prosecutor, including alleging the participants are involved with prostitution and money laundering, the Cherry Pit, a Texas swingers' club, defiantly continues to operate:
"We want it to shut down. We asked them. We told them they're illegal," City Manager Kent Cagle said. "We gave them lots of chances – they continued to operate."
The Cherry Pit's slogan now is "Fight For Your Right To Party."

H&R Block Is My Pimp: A New York attorney tried and failed to get the money he spent on hookers and related services written off on his taxes:
All told, Halby spent about $322,000 to satisfy his desires, according to court papers.

In 2002 alone, Halby deducted $111,364 for "therapeutic sex" and massages "to relieve osteoarthritis and enhance erectile function through frequent orgasm."
***
A former counsel for the Equitable Life Insurance Society of the United States, Halby represented himself through the proceedings. He meticulously recorded each liaison in a notebook titled "Tax Journal," including the cost and practitioners' first names.
Astonishingly, the IRS did not see it his way. The guy is appealing though. Maybe he can still get a happy ending.

It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp: Especially when your 'hos look like this.

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