To the People

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or TO THE PEOPLE.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

TtP Debate Drunkblogging - What the Fuck? '08, Round Two

Okay, here we are for the second of the three debates. Because of the problems we had last week with the Palin-Biden debate, Rob and I are doing separate posts. So TtP readers are getting two drunkbloggers for the price of ... well, nothing really, you cheap bastards.

Who do we have on our title fight tonight?

The returning champion -- Barack "Smooth Like Kahlua" Obama. I scored the last debate as a win for McCain but a lot of people disagreed and now Obama has a sizable lead in the polls. Apparently the man is just so badass he cannot lose. Expect him to hold back tonight, knowing he just has to keep from being knocked out and he'll retain his belt.

The desperate challenger -- John "Night of the Living Dead" McCain. The old guy is down 8 points in the polls and this may be his last chance to turn this thing around. So don't be surprised if he goes apeshit on Obama tonight. His only chance is to do to the Chosen One what the Vietcong did to him for five years.

8:52 p.m. EST -- I'm watching Fox News tonight. Mort "Master of the Fucking Obvious" Kondracke is saying the Obama will try to link McCain to Bush and McCain will try to say that Obama is too liberal.

8:58 p.m. EST -- Brit Hume says Obama must come across as "well-spoken". Hey, he said it, not me ...

9:02 p.m. EST -- And the gladiators have returned to the coliseum ...

9:06 p.m. EST -- I had forgotten how much I hate Brokaw's voice. Why does the guy always sound so constipated? Seriously, I keep thinking he'll split to drop a duece in the john at any second.

9:08 p.m. EST -- 60 seconds in and Obama says the economy is Bush and McCain's fault. Drink!

9:09 p.m. EST -- I disagree with the conventional wisdom that McCain excells in these forums. He's shorter than Obama and his war injuries make him look like a hunchback at times. PLUS, he said "my friends". Drink!

9:11 p.m. EST -- McCain flubs his first joke, saying he wouldn't pick Tom Brokaw as Treasury Secretary. He then says Warren Buffet has helped to stabilize the economy and he's Obama's friend too. Damn, just a few minutes in and he's already falling behind.

9:14 p.m. EST -- McCain defends suspending his campaign, claiming he improved the bailout package. Well, if you're crazy try to make people think there is a method to the madness, I guess ...

9:18 p.m. EST -- McCain: Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were "the matches that started this fire." He accuses Obama and his Democratic cronies of refusing to reign in the Fannie and Freddie. Obama says nu-huh it was McCain and his deregulatory buddies. Oh, and Fannie and Freddie lobbyists now work for McCain. Smooth ...

9:19 p.m. EST -- Obama says the reform bill McCain touted earlier was never passed. Well, yeah. Democrats blocked it. This bit he neglects to mention ...

9:21 p.m. EST -- Obama is so smooth tonight, I fully expect that he will not only win but he'll sell every audience member a new Honda Accord Hybrid and a set of steak knives.

9:23 p.m. EST -- "Senator Obama has never stood up to the leaders of his party." It's a good line. It would be better if McCain weren't breathing so heavy. He's just this close to sounding like Darth Vader.

9:26 p.m. EST -- McCain says "my friends". Drink.

9:28 p.m. EST -- Fox News cut away for a second to Obama while McCain spoke. Obama was smirking.

9:29 p.m. EST -- Obama says McCain would continue Bush's economic policies. Drink.

9:30 p.m. EST -- McCain promises to eliminate agencies and even whole departments of the government. The first actually libertarian point made tonight. "We are going to have to tell people that spending is going to have to be cut." He promises an across the board freeze.

9:33 p.m. EST -- I am disappointed. Where is the mean, nasty, my-enemies-are-scum McCain? Somebody slip the guy some viagra, stat!

9:36 p.m. EST -- Obama: "I disagree with McCain on an across-the-board spending freeze." So he just conceded that there will no shrinking the government in his administration. No surprise, but surprising to hear him say it it out loud.

9:39 p.m. EST -- Brokaw is being supremely anal about sticking to the format. Come on Tom, you're supposed to be a pro. You know that's just a jumping off point. Let them fight! I want to see blood on the floor. Maybe even folding chairs flying around.

9:42 p.m. EST -- Obama completely dodges a question on entitlement reform, spewing forth a stream of verbal diarrhea on taxes and the budget. In response, McCain calls for something like ... the military base closing commission. I know what he's getting at -- a bipartisan group that suggests a take-it-or-leave-it solution -- but I think the reference flies over most people's heads. Plus, he says "my friends" twice. Drink and drink.

9:46 p.m. EST -- McCain: "I was on Navy ships that had nuclear reactors. I know it is safe and clean." I think it's a good point and I agree; we could use more nuclear power. I just wish that point was made by somebody that still has all of his hair. Also he says "my friends". Drink.

9:50 p.m. EST -- McCain hits Obama for voting for the Bush-Cheney energy bill while he opposed it. He also says drilling is necessary to bridge the gap before we switch to green technologies. Good lines. Maybe he's not dead yet. Plus, he said "My friends." Drink.

9:53 p.m. EST -- Obama is a frighteningly good salesman for socializing health care. He says McCain's plan is "not the kind of change America needs." Drink.

9:56 p.m. EST -- McCain makes the pitch for his health care tax credit fairly well and hits Obama for the the implicit government mandates in his problem. Obama says flat-out healthcare should be "a right for every American." And he hits McCain for opposing expansion of SCHIP, the federal children's health program. And a good thing McCain did, too, 'cause it was a back door way of expanding federal control of health care by making teenagers and young adults "children". It's always for the children, isn't it?

10:02 p.m. EST -- McCain says the U.S. military is the greatest force for good in the world. Cue the swelling John Williams score. Plus, he says "my friends" twice. Drink and drink.

10:06 p.m. EST -- Obama tries a repeat of his last debate smackdown on the decision to go to war in Iraq. McCain looks like he wants a baseball bat.

10:08 p.m. EST -- Obama takes the bold stance that he would have acted to prevent the Holocaust if he was president in the 1940s. McCain promises to bring the troops home in victory and prevent genocide. Leadership requires a "cool hand on the tiller," he says. Are you referring to yourself senator? I'm confused. McCain also says, "my friends" twice. Drink and drink.

10:12 p.m. EST -- Question should we launch strikes in Pakistan without their permission? Sheesh. That's a softball. Obama knocks it out of the park, promising to kill Osama bin Laden. McCain says, yes, we should do this but we just should not announce that we are doing it. Ahh ...

10:16 p.m. EST -- Obama points to McCain and says, "This is the guy who said, 'Bomb, bomb Iran.'" Drink. McCain: "I was joking with a veteran friend." He says, "My friends". Drink.

10:23 p.m. EST -- McCain: "I looked into Putin's eyes and I saw a K, a G and a B." Careful, dude, Putin knows Judo and he likes to get sweaty and shirtless. Who knows what could happen if he got you alone ...

10:26 p.m. EST -- Obama says if we only go green, then we can rob Putin and Russia of petro dollars. Is he serious? Does he really believe that?

10:29 p.m. EST -- McCain: "We would not wait for the UN special council" to aid the Israelis if Iran attacks 'cause Russia and China would say no. Well, you cannot say it was not a clear answer. Again he comes down hard against a second holocaust. He says my friends twice. Drink three times. Obama says we should use all the tools to prevent that scenario then jives all over the place. He would go into "talks" to tell them to stop.

10:32 p.m. EST -- Brokaw's last question reveals that he dropped acid before the debate: "What don't you know and how will you learn it?" Obama says his wife could tell you. Sharp answer, funny, then segues into his stump speech. If he doesn't become president he could become an awesome cognac pitchman.

10:34 p.m. EST -- McCain: "I know what it is like to keep going in dark times." Like the last two or three weeks of your campaign?

10:36 p.m. EST -- And the crowd applauds wildly. Because it is over.

10:48 p.m. EST -- Whoa, George McGovern appears in an ad opposing the Big Labor-backed card check bill. That's coup for whatever business lobby recruited him.

Wrap: I'm watching Mitt Romney right now on Fox News. Asked if tonight was a game-changer for McCain, Romney said, "Well, we'll see tomorrow." And that was the guy on McCain's side ...

Obama won, pretty decisively. The townhall format was supposed to favor McCain. I don't think it did. It accentuated his physical infirmities while Obama got a chance to look tall, handsome and healthy. The only thing Obama lacked was a runway to strut on.

I liked McCain better on substance but both gave good performances and Obama made good cases for his plans. The main problem: no fireworks, no excitement. For a campaign that needed to turn things around McCain just didn't do enough. What's the point of having a batshit crazy candidate if he cannot go batshit crazy when he needs to?

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