To the People

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Thursday, October 02, 2008

VP Debate '08; I'm Already Drunk

My idea of debate prep: 5 Guinness, Lots of Whiskey.

By my side: Rum and Coke, Full Bottle of Wine

9:02: Rob: We are ready to go. This has to be the most anticipated VP debate ever. Palin is looking hot in her sexy black dress.

9:05: Rob: Joe is hitting the Obama talking points early on about the economy and credit crunch. Can he stay on script for the rest of debate.

How nervous is Palin? Christ...You can hear it in her voice..She is scary nervous. I think if she can hold it together for the first 10 minutes or so, she will be OK, but she looks like she could lose it at any moment.

9:08: Rob: Ifill: Who is at fault for the sub-prime crisis? Me: Do we have hours for this question? Days?

9:10: Rob: 10 minutes until Palin dropped the Joe six-pack line...

9:14: Rob: Palin is growing some balls, gaining confidence: "I might not answer the question like you (Biden) or the moderator wants me to, but I'm going to speak directly to the American people"

Joe is working the middle-class angle. Good idea. Class warfare always works..

9:18: Rob: Biden is composed, hasn't called Palin sweetie yet; so all-in-all good job, doing what he needs to do so far. Does anyone else imagine Joe having a shock collar on? Anytime he starts to drift off into a Biden gaffe Axelrod presses a button..and...ZAP! Shocked into submission.

9:24: Rob: Can we get a commercial break? My thoughts going into this debate was that most likely the debate would end up as a wash, with Palin taking the advantage, only because a wash in a win for her. Looks that way so far.

9:28: Rob: My favorite Biden line so far: "John said quote, and I'm parphrasing here..."

9:37: Rob: I think we just jumped from clean coal to gay rights in a matter of seconds.

Newsflash: Sarah Palin has lesbian friends. I'll give everyone a minute or two to think about Palin with her lesbian friends.

9:53: Archibald here -- Did they put Biden's makeup on with a spatula? He looks like something my nine year-old nephew painted ...

9:54 Rob: OK, I can't really objectively grade Sarah Palin. I really want to cuddle the govenor, maybe share some eskimo kisses with her. It would be nice. it front of a fireplace with some wine, maybe some cocoa. We could even go to the Poconos...

10:00: Archibald: Biden, "Let me say that again!" Oh, I'm sure you will senator. Also, he's doing the Al Gore heavy-sigh routine ...

10:09: Archibald. In response to Ifill's question about how he would do things if he had to take over from Obama, I think Biden said that situation would be a national catastrophe of historic proportions. Hey, he said it, not me ...

10:16: Archibald. Palin's jokes and comebacks are way, way too rehearsed. She is so nervous, it's like she's a virgin on her wedding night ... Hmm, now, how did I come up with that comparison?

10:23: Archibald. Biden said his main fault is "an excess of passion". Now wasn't that Bill Clinton's big problem? Although to be fair to Joe he has said at least twice tonight that he "loves" John McCain, so maybe it is true.

10:31: Archibald. Biden says, "We must all get up together." Hmmm, all I can think of is getting up with Palin and making her breakfast.

10:40: Archibald: Well, it's over. Was it good for you Rob?

10:45: Rob: Eh who knows. In my mind I was watching a soft core Showtime porn; as for the rest of America who might not have such wandering minds, I give Palin a win, but essentially it's a wash.

10:56: Archibald. First, a technical note for the readers. I missed about the first 20 minutes of the debate due to a bartender who thought her boobs would distract me from her slow service. She was right and I got home late. Also, we had some problems with blogger, which explains why the post looks I like came in and knocked Rob over the head with a blackjack and took over.

I thought Biden won. I like Palin and my mind wandered as much as Rob's did, but she did come across as a rookie, I thought. Biden can be -- and often was -- a pompous jerk, but he did come across as the trusted old hand who knows how to run the store. Then again, last week I thought McCain won decisively. Instead Obama pulled into the lead poll-wise afterwards. So what the fuck do I know?

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